Saturday, June 18, 2011

Hanging from a Cliff

Hi All!                                                                       
This picture reallly is how I feel these days, I've climbed a good part of the climb and now I'm stuck. You see I have made greate strides with my health in the last year and a bit and  would say that I'm 60-65% better. I have had set backs with surgery etc otherwise I would be closer to 80% since I switched from synthetic thyroid hormone called levothyroxine (or synthcrap is what myself and others call it) and started taking bioidentical cortisol hormone for my severely ailing adrenal glands (caused by synthcrap).

What has happened to me and I knew it would as my old self awakens, my spirit, the true me is coming through and it is a good thing for sure but it leaves me feeling very stuck. You see I'm not well enough to make a change but well enough to be very very frustrated with my current job environment. I take great pride in my job (even though during my illness I was literally dying inside I never showed it to my customers) and get a huge amount of satisfaction from a job well done as well as  making each and every one of my customers feel special and understood when I design their spaces for them. I choose this career, it was not just happenstance and accept that it is not the same as working with professionals in a fancy kitchen studio but I expect a minimum of enthusiasm and feel that only about 10% of my co-workers  feel the same way as I do.

There are even certain powers that be that have me shaking my head in amazement as well with the decisions or lack of decisions made. Don't get me wrong, I am not a victim. I choose to be here based on my financial needs, for now. If I won the lotto I would definitely move on and go find my ultimate place to be. Instead I will keep climbing the proverbial cliff of health and take it one day at a time, even though daily I want to scream at the top of my lungs out of sheer frustration.

Someone wise once said to me "You are where you are meant to be until you are not meant to be there anymore". I think I'm gonna sign up for a yoga class, maybe that will help. Ahhhhhhhhh! Brrrreeeeaaath!

And here is the place that makes me feel peaceful and happy, even if I can hear the neighbours kids scream nonstop all the time. HA!

Have a wonderful weekend.



Simply Jo said...

Dealing with work while healthy is a challenge I cannot even imagine how difficult it would be when your healthy is not 100%.
I have a friend who has suffered for years, she looks fabulous and you would never know she is dealing with health challenges, I've learned to pick up when she is not 100% so she can at least talking about how she is feeling. The image on your blog made me think of how she feels.
Know that you are not alone, stay strong!



Claudia said...


Such a beautiful and peaceful outdoor it!

So pretty!
Take care,